2009
Eating My World’s Largest Gummi Bear
As seen on: WoodyAfterHours.com, written by Ben Carter
Recently I discovered the existence of the World’s Largest Gummi Bear™ (WLGB). Using my team of crack investigative reporters, I learned that the WLGB is made and sold right here in Raleigh, North Carolina. Being a lover of all things gummi, a glutton and not very smart, I made an executive decision that I absolutely had to purchase and eat one. I’m happy to report that phase one is now complete and we’re a go to begin phase two.
My first hurdle was deciding on which of the nine flavors I wanted to dedicate myself to spending a lot of time with. It wasn’t easy, and I thought long and hard before ultimately choosing pineapple. Why pineapple? First, pineapple-flavored sugar is yummy. Second, the majority of the population would have gone with cherry, and I thought I’d be different. Third, they didn’t have sticky toffee pudding- or tiramisu-flavor gummi bears, so I went with the next logical choice.
Ok, so here is my WLGB. I named her Penelope Pineapple. Look at how wonderfully she glistens:
Now, I realize that by itself Penelope doesn’t look that impressive, so I took a few pictures to give you a better perspective.
My plan is to eat Penelope seven days a week until she’s gone. Some days I’m going to eat a lot of Penelope, some days I’m just going to nibble on Penelope. My Penelope consumption will just depend on my mood at the time. I will also be blogging about the experience, so come back to this page every once in a while and see if I’m still alive.
Update 1: Just about half of the Penelope Pineapple is gone, and I must admit that I’m filled with equal parts pride, shame and gummi. I’m proud that after all I’ve eaten I can still do stuff, like be upright. I’m ashamed that I’ve done a better job at this than I have at waking up at a reasonable hour, brushing my teeth or eating healthy food. And, naturally, I’m full of gummi goodness, which I suspect has now surpassed water as the highest percentage of stuff in my body.
Update 2: It’s been eight days. I’m sad to report that as of this writing Penelope isn’t half the bear that she once was. In fact, she is now just a head. I am deeply saddened by the knowledge that soon she will disappear all together. In the short time I have known Penelope she has become more and more a part of me every day. Perhaps that has been the problem all along.
Final Update: I’m happy to report that I have completed my mission to eat the World’s Largest Gummi Bear. At the same time I’m sad that Penelope Pineapple is now only various chemicals coursing through my veins. I had a lot of fun with Penelope. She was delicious, a good sport and she didn’t ruin my enjoyment of all things gummi. My only regret is that I ate her way too fast.
